Tuesday, November 4, 2008

holding my breath...

Here we are folks, another election and I find myself holding my breath just like four years ago and fours before that. The last election, I found myself at home watching the polls on TV and when I felt I would burst from anxiety I made my way to an Irish pub down the road where the orange county democratic party was having a get together. I had join the party after the first election. After having countless arguments with co-workers after 9-11, about why we should not be going to war. After showing up at demonstrations hoping it could change things and nothing changed. I needed to do something and so in spite of the fact that I was only a temporary resident here in the US I joined the OC Dem. party. The party itself is an oxymoron of sorts. Anyone who has lived in the OC will tell you there is little that is democratic here. This is the heart of red country,in the very blue state of California. I joined the party because I needed to believe there were other folks living around me that shared the same values and thoughts. I was very seriously considering moving back to Canada afterall.

Anyways election night I make my way to the pub. They have a room reserved for the OC dem party, there are banners and streamers and everyone is very excited and exuberant. And very confident and hopeful. There is nothing to worry about!! What we were waiting for was the California polls to close and then see the whopping jump in the electoral vote collected from CA to clinch the elections. Except other state polls started to close and one after the other they were painted red. People started doing the math and realized we were now looking at a very close election even with the California vote. The mood very quickly soured, and by 9 pm, everyone had left the gathering except for this one lady and me. I was a non voter and she was too nervous to go and watch the events unfold alone. So we sat there nursing our beers and watching the TV screen. Finally by 10:30 we called it a night. I came home feeling nauseous, and suddenly very very depressed. How could this be? Not again. Not 4 more years of this. not AGAIN!!!

I decided I would head to bed. This was just a bad dream. I would go to sleep and tomorrow when I would wake up everything would be right.

I am still waiting to wake up, and I hope that tonight we can finally take that step to setting things right. But until then, I am holding my breath....

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