Saturday, February 7, 2009

When to let go...

There comes a point in everyone’s life that they start asking questions, about what their purpose in life is, are they happy, are they living life to it’s fullest. I believe we ask these questions because there is a void that we feel inside and finally gets a voice loud enough to be heard and so we start to pay attention to it.

Everyone is different in how they approach this, but the important thing is their desire to learn, to improve oneself and to make better the quality of ones life, no matter what the path.

On this path of, lets call it enlightenment, you start to question your choices, you start to question your relationships, with lovers, friends, family, coworkers…

You observe the effect these people have on you. A true enlightened person is immune to the effect of others. I don’t mean that they don’t care, but that they have found their place of peace and harmony that is unconnected to what and how other people see them or treat them. But for the novices on this journey of self discovery you see that perhaps some relationships do not benefit you in your quest to be a better person.

How we react to someone, or how we feel because of someones actions has nothing to do with the other person or what they do or say. It has everything to do with the thoughts we allow into are heads and how those thoughts effect us. Control is always with us. But to gain that level of control you need all the help you can get. And help comes in the form of those that are like minded and that bring positivity and light to your life. And it also comes in the form of breaking those bonds that bring darkness to your life.

This is not a pleasant or easy thing, breaking up. There are bonds that may have existed for a long time, and coming from someone that holds on obsessively to all her relationships, let me tell you, it is a very hard choice to let go of those relationships that therapist call toxic. I hate that word, by the way. That implies almost a deliberate attempt by someone to try and poison you.

I believe there is good in everyone, maybe buried deep deep deep inside, but it’s there. But you can’t help someone find their inner peace when you are still looking for your own. And so, with sadness, but perhaps with some relief you let go on those bonds. Not to say goodbye forever, but more like I’ll see you later.

Later when I am enlightened enough to take you in my arms and only see your good and nothing more.

The analogy I would use is a baby, and because I think they are cute. We don’t release a baby willy nilly into the walking world, we start out by protecting them. Baby proofing your home and as they grow you remove more and more of the layers of protection because they can handle it now. We, those searching souls, are babies learning to walk, and the protections are the positive, warm, all embracing relationships that feed our heart and soul and keep us safe from the not so warm relationships Once we are upright and walking, we develop our own protective skills, and so we can walk freely among all people. And like how each baby is different on how it learns to walk, we each find out own path to inner peace.

My niece Ava for example learned only to crawl backward, never forward, and from that point straight to walking at 10 months, she couldn’t wait to get going. My niece Leah, crawled for ages. She knew how to walk but was afraid, always holding on to something. For her is was food ( she is my niece afterall LOL!!) that finally made her let go of what was holding her back and take those few first steps unaided

So no matter what your path, if letting go is something you find yourself contemplating, do it without guilt, do it with the knowledge that someday you can reconnect. Only then, it will be you that will be determining the quality of that relationship.

Peace and love

No comments: