Celebrate Love

I am dedicating today to love, on the suggestion of the lovely blog "Obsessed with Conformity".
I'll update thru out the day with all things love related. For now enjoy this video:

Playing for Change: One Love



Peace and love to all

Look Who's Famous

I've been pondering the state of celebrity-hood for a few weeks. Okay so I developed a wee obsession ( so shoot me, he is quite dishy) on a certain blond Bond, after seeing his performance in Casino Royale. Yah, I don't get out much and I realize I have arrived to the scene of Danny boy's success a little late, but really I had no clue he was that great of an actor.

I was vaguely aware of who he was, and when they announced him as the new Bond, I thought... What?!! Why? In any event I had already lost all interest in the Bond franchise so I couldn't give rats ass who they picked... whatever...

Then on route back to LA from London, due to the pathetic offering of movie choices on BA, I decided to watch a "classic". And I was promptly blown away by how well he fit the part and what a great job he did. why had I not heard of this guy before? He's a really fine actor. This is where is got me thinking... and I had the sudden urge to know more about the man behind the character. Was he just a good actor or was he an interesting human being as well? So I did a bit on online sleuthing...

Turns out he was always a great actor, just that his movies reached a smaller audience and rarely this side of the pond. With Bond he just exploded on the international scene and suddenly he's this huge celebrity. The smaller number viewer in the past was what prevented his reaching the levels of fame he is experiencing now...

Now he's at award shows, cover of magazines, best dressed, sexiest man alive, you name it... There are paparazzi pictures of his most mundane activities, like grocery shopping, eating out etc. That's right, his grocery shopping is NEWS!!! I shop 3 times a week and there is no bloody person to photograph that, then again I never uttered the words, "the name is Bond, James Bond" on the big screen either. He likes to be challenged in his work. He like vodka martinis, blah blah blah, amazing how much stuff is written about him that has nothing to do with his talent and what he is clearly very good at...

So what's my point? Yes I do have a point and I am getting to it....

There are people around the world doing a fine job, maybe sitting in a cubicle some place but doing a good job, and possibly changing the world as we speak. Yet we will never hear from them. Because they don't have an audience. There will be no award ceremony broadcast on national TV, no lifetime achievement awards none of that... The fact is Danny is no more interesting a human being than the next guy, except for the fact of his acting skills. But somehow everything he say or does, is read and viewed with such interest now. Maybe he should not have stripped down to his speedos... But I guess the question is does anything Dan want to say, or anything he thinks ultimately really important, or worth the attention it gets? DOES HE HAVE ANYTHING WORTHWHILE TO SAY? I couldn't tell you because I didn't see any. No idea how he feels about world poverty/hunger, the war in Iraq, the recession, the million of jobless people around the world, global warming, equal rights etc. Though I did read he had a very nice christmas holiday in the Carribean. I am being too hard on Daniel. I am sure his friends will say he is a very nice guy, just very private person. Sounds like an oxymoron, famous private person...So what makes Danny so famous? He is famous simply for doing a fine bit of acting on a Hollywood blockbuster, on showing on millions of screens around the world. That suddenly makes him an interesting person, some one worth honouring, awarding... That's what put him on the map. An audience...


I think this is where sites like Facebook, Twitter, blogs etc are leveling the playing field. Not that we all want to be famous, but they allow everyone, EVERYONE, to have an audience. And depending on your presence you can reach as far as you want. On these sites you are judged by what you have to say. If it strikes a cord with enough people then Voila, you have now become an online celeb. No movie required... Of course, you'll still not be earning the salary Danny gets for be soooo famous, but who knows, that may come too. Advertisers don't discriminate. They only care if you can sell their product...I digress. But the point I am trying to making is if the pre-requisite to fame is having an audience, we've all got that now. So I guess now more than ever in history, what you say, what you think, how you carry yourself through life is what will make you truly famous. In other words we will be known and remembered for who we were as a person and not for what we did for a living.

Biography channel's slogan is, "Every life is a Biography", which is quite crap considering that the majority of people they feature are showbiz folks...people famous for their profession...

Truth is this, every life IS interesting, there are people all around us worthy of getting to know better, worthy of being honoured, and acknowledged now and not in an obituary when they are dead and gone. I guess it's a bit sick, this obsession with celebs. They are people just like you and me. They just happen to have a job and makes them highly visible. And for some reason they require endless award shows to let everyone know they did a good job. You would think these people are insecure or something. Again I digress...Anyways, I am more interested in what they have to say, or how they effect the society around them. If you have nothing worthwhile to communicate, if you don't care about the society you live in, then in my book you're not famous. I know, I know, they are all crying their eyes out because Marjan doesn't care. But here's the thing folks, we really should be spending our time on people that are trying to make a difference and bring about change for the better. Learn from them, be inspired by them and be motivated to do something worthwhile with our lives.

So next time you see a advert for an award show, try this for a change. Host your own award ceremony and honour the people in your life that matter. Maybe we should do this en mass. Declare a day "insert favorite friend/family member" Day. And then broadcast to the world who they are and why they are your hero, why the world does not know what it is missing, and why they should want to know THIS biography... Do it

love and peace

Oh and Daniel, give me a call, we need to talk... ;0)

When to let go...

There comes a point in everyone’s life that they start asking questions, about what their purpose in life is, are they happy, are they living life to it’s fullest. I believe we ask these questions because there is a void that we feel inside and finally gets a voice loud enough to be heard and so we start to pay attention to it.

Everyone is different in how they approach this, but the important thing is their desire to learn, to improve oneself and to make better the quality of ones life, no matter what the path.

On this path of, lets call it enlightenment, you start to question your choices, you start to question your relationships, with lovers, friends, family, coworkers…

You observe the effect these people have on you. A true enlightened person is immune to the effect of others. I don’t mean that they don’t care, but that they have found their place of peace and harmony that is unconnected to what and how other people see them or treat them. But for the novices on this journey of self discovery you see that perhaps some relationships do not benefit you in your quest to be a better person.

How we react to someone, or how we feel because of someones actions has nothing to do with the other person or what they do or say. It has everything to do with the thoughts we allow into are heads and how those thoughts effect us. Control is always with us. But to gain that level of control you need all the help you can get. And help comes in the form of those that are like minded and that bring positivity and light to your life. And it also comes in the form of breaking those bonds that bring darkness to your life.

This is not a pleasant or easy thing, breaking up. There are bonds that may have existed for a long time, and coming from someone that holds on obsessively to all her relationships, let me tell you, it is a very hard choice to let go of those relationships that therapist call toxic. I hate that word, by the way. That implies almost a deliberate attempt by someone to try and poison you.

I believe there is good in everyone, maybe buried deep deep deep inside, but it’s there. But you can’t help someone find their inner peace when you are still looking for your own. And so, with sadness, but perhaps with some relief you let go on those bonds. Not to say goodbye forever, but more like I’ll see you later.

Later when I am enlightened enough to take you in my arms and only see your good and nothing more.

The analogy I would use is a baby, and because I think they are cute. We don’t release a baby willy nilly into the walking world, we start out by protecting them. Baby proofing your home and as they grow you remove more and more of the layers of protection because they can handle it now. We, those searching souls, are babies learning to walk, and the protections are the positive, warm, all embracing relationships that feed our heart and soul and keep us safe from the not so warm relationships Once we are upright and walking, we develop our own protective skills, and so we can walk freely among all people. And like how each baby is different on how it learns to walk, we each find out own path to inner peace.

My niece Ava for example learned only to crawl backward, never forward, and from that point straight to walking at 10 months, she couldn’t wait to get going. My niece Leah, crawled for ages. She knew how to walk but was afraid, always holding on to something. For her is was food ( she is my niece afterall LOL!!) that finally made her let go of what was holding her back and take those few first steps unaided

So no matter what your path, if letting go is something you find yourself contemplating, do it without guilt, do it with the knowledge that someday you can reconnect. Only then, it will be you that will be determining the quality of that relationship.

Peace and love

holding my breath...

Here we are folks, another election and I find myself holding my breath just like four years ago and fours before that. The last election, I found myself at home watching the polls on TV and when I felt I would burst from anxiety I made my way to an Irish pub down the road where the orange county democratic party was having a get together. I had join the party after the first election. After having countless arguments with co-workers after 9-11, about why we should not be going to war. After showing up at demonstrations hoping it could change things and nothing changed. I needed to do something and so in spite of the fact that I was only a temporary resident here in the US I joined the OC Dem. party. The party itself is an oxymoron of sorts. Anyone who has lived in the OC will tell you there is little that is democratic here. This is the heart of red country,in the very blue state of California. I joined the party because I needed to believe there were other folks living around me that shared the same values and thoughts. I was very seriously considering moving back to Canada afterall.

Anyways election night I make my way to the pub. They have a room reserved for the OC dem party, there are banners and streamers and everyone is very excited and exuberant. And very confident and hopeful. There is nothing to worry about!! What we were waiting for was the California polls to close and then see the whopping jump in the electoral vote collected from CA to clinch the elections. Except other state polls started to close and one after the other they were painted red. People started doing the math and realized we were now looking at a very close election even with the California vote. The mood very quickly soured, and by 9 pm, everyone had left the gathering except for this one lady and me. I was a non voter and she was too nervous to go and watch the events unfold alone. So we sat there nursing our beers and watching the TV screen. Finally by 10:30 we called it a night. I came home feeling nauseous, and suddenly very very depressed. How could this be? Not again. Not 4 more years of this. not AGAIN!!!

I decided I would head to bed. This was just a bad dream. I would go to sleep and tomorrow when I would wake up everything would be right.

I am still waiting to wake up, and I hope that tonight we can finally take that step to setting things right. But until then, I am holding my breath....

love me, love me not

It’s the morning and I am sitting with my steaming cup of coffee and doing what I do, reading celebrity gossip, my very secret shameful indulgence…

I am struck by the stories regarding parents of adoptive children that then happen to have birth children. Specifically today a story on Nicole Kidman. Okay being out from under the hold of shorty Tom and his couch jumping ideology must be a huge relief, worthy of a mighty Hallelujah!!! And finding a hotty singer from down under to be your best mate, must have her aglow with the “Soulmates are real” wisdom ( I question that by the way). To top that there is the birth of Sunday Rose, apparently a miracle, although though there are plenty of 41 year olds having babies… The blessed event apparently has given Nicole a new lease of life. She is now whole and complete.

To that I say bullshit. I don’t know if these are her words or those of the media, although I suspect the media for being so closed minded. The story makes it sound like she is a mother for the first time. Hello?!! She has two teenage adopted children. Tell me why would someone adopt a child only to make a point of showing them that they will never be the same as s birth child. Truthfully I blame Nicole too. She been gushing over the new baby and really not talking much about her other kids. Maybe they are too under the control of Tom and they have grown apart.

I don’t know, but it just bothers the heck out of me. Even Brangelina that I highly respect for having the kind of multicoloured brood I’d aspire to have someday, even with them the media is relentless. Now y’all know Angie loves her Maddox,afterall it he completely transformed the woman, but every since the birth of Shiloh, the media has a made a point of focusing on her, because she is the true fruit of the loins of Brangelina whereas Zahara, Pax and Maddox must be a rental deals.

Or take Madonna with her son David. Oh but he’s never just David. He little David Banda, lets make it clear in case you are colour blind, that he does NOT have the same last name as Madonna, because, wait for it,wait for it, .... he is not really her child.... Wow!!!

Get real folks, and grow up. A child is a child and if you love children it should not matter if they are your own or adopted. I love my friends children just as much as my own nieces. Blood is not thicker than water. This is simply a condition of society that say somehow what you make yourself has a special ingredient that somehow an adoptive child cannot have. And science doesn’t help. What with the stories of bonding between mother and child, baby knowing its mothers scent, how mothers milk is the secret sauce to have smart healthy kids.

What I do know is that babies are very smart. What they do bond to is attention. Give them love and give them attention and they are yours. And there are alot of those little ones out there looking for your love, looking for someone to bond to. So open your arms and bring them into your lives and love them because all you need is love.... and your life will never be the same.... Ask Angie…

The Lunch Bunch....

Every once in a while the gals from my office get together for lunch or happy hour, usually around a birthday. These get together are guaranteed to be fun filled with lost of laughs and plenty of interesting discussion. You see, we all work at an engineering company, so first off it’s great to be doing something away from the boys, but also because we are such a diverse group of women. In one meeting we had an animated discussion regarding raising teens about the subject of sex, and drugs. And the incredible thing is the insight everyone had on the topic, each seeing it from their point of view, regardless of whether they had children or not. I think we all learned something that night.

Anyways today’s get together was much more lighthearted. We were celebrating the birthday of a couple of the girls and conversation steered towards who is the youngest in the crowd (31) and who’s married and who is not. Actually it started by me mis-hearing some saying “I’m buried” , referring to work, and hearing it as “I’m married”. So I joked that I guess congratulations were in order. Her response was that marriage was never something on her agenda, and being a single Mom was fine by her. In turn she asked the our single birthday girl if she had ever been married or would like to be. Her response with a big wistful smile was that it’s something that would make her very happy and something she has on her vision board. I have heard people say that… That somehow marriage, not the big party and all that, completes you… She then said “I have a goal… for my next birthday I want to be on the hottest date of my life… I just have to find the guy...”

Now this here young lady happens to be a project manager in my company. Well getting things done and getting them done on time is her job. So we joked that she should set up a committee to investigate this project. We would need research, we would need regular meeting preferably over wine. We would need test subjects, prototypes and a products requirement document. After much laughter, we thought, why not?

From this was born “The Pathi Dev Project” (I’ll let you figure out what the Sanskrit term means). Although the original conversation starting with our dear girl landing a hot date, that became more and more of a minor goal, and the bigger goal the objective of having fun with the idea of finding the perfect date. After all this would require research, observing the subject in it’s natural habitat, and figuring out the best way to lay the trap and snare the prize LOL!!! Ultimately this would lead to spending time with the sisterhood, sharing laughs and swapping stories and ultimately having plenty of fun filled get togethers to track our “progress”. Like I said ours is a diverse group, there are single parents, divorced chicks, happily married wives, mothers and single gals. We’ve all had our own experiences in love arena and now we have a forum to share those experiences. That is what I love about being a woman. We are fiercely supportive of one another, and no one has as much fun as a bunch of gals on the town. Like Cindi says, Girls just wanna have fun!!!

What if ...?

Ever look back at your choices in life and wonder what if I had taken a different path. Stupid question, every one does, right? You often have these soul searching moments when you find yourself at a crossroads so to speak. Not sure how to move forward, so you go backwards in your mind. Maybe you are trying to validate that you did the right things. Maybe it’s to torture yourself by thinking of the alternate routes you could have taken and how sweet everything would be now if you had…

Truth is none of us knows what the future holds and no one can tell what other things could have happened had your path diverged from the one you are on now. Yet we still do this. This reflection on the past. This “what if” scenario that we ponder over and over again.

Happiness is a pretty elusive thing. It’s really more of an art form. To be happy in life you have to perfect the skill of contentment, be able to accept things for what they are, be able to see the glass half full at all times. It’s a state of mind. One that requires a lot of work and focus and definitely does not come naturally. Our every present darkside is always at work, stealthy chipping away at our happy facade. It’s why depression never happens over night but sneakily works it way into your mind day by day till it takes you down,knocked youoff your feet and eaving you wondering how you never saw it coming. There is reason, sorry Tom Cruise, you need the pills to get out a hole like that…

I have alot of what-ifs that my always awake brain likes to roll around in my mind. Did I pick the right career? Spend more time on my relationships? tried to have kids? live closer to family ....

The fact is in almost every major decision I have made in life I chose be non-conformist. Which is really weird considering I hate breaking the law. I guess I saw the popular choices in life , doing just what everyone else was doing as boring. That is not to say I am THAT unique of a person. I am not. The are plenty of folks that made the same kind of choices that I have. But I think the motivation for all of us was to do something different. Be different…

I knew, when I was 11 that I wanted to be an engineer. Not because my Dad, or my cousins were engineers. But because I read an article in Scientific American, about the designer of Audi fox. She was on the cover and hailed as a revolutionary engineer. And I knew right then, I wanted to be just like her. Not just an engineer, but kick ass one. It’s not often you have such clarity of thought, but it never occurred to me to question myself then.

I do now.

I know I am a pretty kick ass engineer. Check there. But having accomplished that I don’t really sense satisfaction. The reality of life as an engineer, the long hours, the working with fellow geeks and nerds, the logical thinking that makes us socially retarded creatures, never considered how that would effect my everyday life. Not to mention, who cares that I designed the fastest networking chip. Great! Some pervert can download porn faster now...How does that help me make my mark on the world?

My point is I wonder how things could have been different if I had not had that epiphany at age 11… What would I be today… Would life be infinitely more interesting than it is now?

I can’t change the past but I certainly can change the present. Work on that glass half full attitude. Anything can be interesting if you show an interest and engage with it. Life is no exception. So lets go forth and be happy and live interesting lives…